Monday, February 28, 2011

National Eating Disorders Week


Last week was National Eating Disorders Week and according to NEDA, it was a record breaking success as far as rising awareness. It is really encouraging to know that this disease is starting to be acknowledged by more people. I had a great experience last weekend at the First Annual NEDA Walk in Tampa Bay, Florida. My friend and sister in recovery, was the coordinator of the event. Bailey is 17 and is a true champ. She and I were in treatment together at University of California San Diego. We didn't know each other before the week of treatment, but we have definitely been close ever since. She raised over $30,000 for treatment and research. It was so empowering to watch her speak of her recovery in front of so many people and then to have us lead the pack of walkers. It was truly incredible to see how many people came to support the cause. It's amazing how much life can change so quickly. My spiral downward into depression and restriction seemed to go from normal to life-threatening in a blink...but then to look back and see how far we have come, is incredible! The freedom I felt walking with Bailey was surreal.

We marched through the park remembering stories from our past. We reminisced on our days in rehab, thinking of our worst times. We remember the horror of Bailey's meatball sub, and my terrifying quesadilla...and then laughed histarically because we have new minds now. We can now see out of the trenches we were trapped in. We can now giggle at the silly habits we were so obsessed with. When fully recovery is in reach, there comes a point where you can feel joy through the terrible things that have happened. I'm not saying that it is to be mocked or that people who struggle don't have a right to feel the way they do...but when recovery is achieved, it feels good to be able to find humor in being afraid of a quesadilla!

Overall, National Eating Disorders Week seemed very successful. I am so proud of those who are taking the necessary steps to begin recovery and continue the process. I am so excited to see how awareness continues to spread!

D and K

Good Read

This was an article we came across and found it to be very interesting! Hope you enjoy.

D and K

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Love and Support


During times of AN, we as the love and support really need to be careful about the things we say and do. The mind is at such a delicate state while going through this process and many times the littlest things can trigger a reaction we were not expecting.

I always let my wife know how beautiful I think she is, and that is something that I will never stop letting her know. However, during the times of her struggle, I had to be careful when saying that to her because of the fact that her mind was just not all their to really comprehend what I meant. Someone that is struggling with AN, can totally spin that around and take that as they need to do more now to look beautiful for you. I realized that some things that I just say naturally to my wife, became somewhat triggering and was something I needed to hold off on saying. Just a simple "you look beautiful today" became a trigger for my wife. I am lucky that I was able to catch this trigger early on, and as hard as it was to hold back on saying some nice things to my wife, (things that I thought were encouragement or confidence boosters) it had to be done for her sake. It's not necessarily a bad thing to tell your wife that she is beautiful. However, the point is to make the supporters aware that some things said to a healthy person would be a compliment, but to someone with an eating disorder, can be twisted into something completely different. Compliments are not bad. Just have a better sense of awareness.

One of the greatest things we can do as the love and support, is to stay positive through this process and let our significant others know that we are here every step of the way. Although many times they will not want you there, you have to show you strong love and support constantly letting them know you are right by their side. Look for things that may be triggering, and constantly look to push forward on the path to recovery. My wife and I feel we have a very unique story and are open to share every single detail with you all. Please feel free to contact us at any time, as we are very open to help. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

D and K

Wednesday, February 2, 2011



There are many different stages, phases and faces of AN and all EDs. It is interesting to look at the disease from different angles and perspectives. To the sufferer, AN may start as a thought. It then grows into a decision, then a pattern, then an obsession. Not to say that having an ED is a is anything but. However, a small lifestyle change can quickly snowball into more. It is a fine line between control and obsession. To the outsider, friend or loved one, AN is see in a very different light.

I can confidently say that I am now recovered from my ED. Looking at my time of sickness is interesting now in hindsight. I remember the beginnings...a small decision to get healthier, to be a little bit better, to attain a higher level of perfection. I remember the first time I realized I had a fear of food. I remember the pain, hopelessness and fatigue in the throws of the illness, and yet the rush of needing to start the pattern all over again the next day. I remember treatment...the hell that it was, but the light that came of it. I remember recovery, the good days and bad, the discouragement, but then hope that some days were getting a lot better. I remember the feeling of freedom. A freedom I couldn't have fathomed only a short time before. Perspective is interesting...and it is interesting how ED can change his face to fit the deceit of that moment. In the middle of battling the illness it is hard to think about others. It's just a reality that when the mind is malnourished, it can't focus correctly on all it is meant to. I wasn't able to consider the concerns of those surrounding me. The lies were too much to overcome on my own.

Maudsley Method is an interesting school of thought in that it recognizes the lack of ability in the malnourished mind to think concretely. Since the one who is sick cannot make rational decisions, he or she needs help to make those decisions in order to live. Seems pretty simple, doesn't it? Now that my mind and body are re-fed, I can see their perspective. My husband and parents were looking out for my best interest, even when at times it seemed that they were ruining me and everything I had created.

There is so much to be said, but I know that I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my husband, parents and those who supported me the entire recovery process. They chose my meals when I couldn't. They chose life for me when I didn't want it. EDs are complex. Everyone is different, but all are treatable. I see now the importance of community in the treatment process and how it has changed my life. Perspective is interesting...and now my world has become much bigger.

D and K

Monday, January 31, 2011


D here.

Nearly two years ago, my wife and I went through something that forever strengthened and grew our relationship. Looking back on it, there was a lot of praying, tears, arguing, ups, downs, and much more. During these tough times, I had to keep reminding myself that there was going to be an end to this disease and that WE were going to beat it. Myself and our families played a key role in the recovery of my wife and this is the reason we strongly believe in the Maudsley method. My wife was one of the very first people to be treated with the Maudsley method as a young adult. We both believe this was the most effective method and did so much more that we could ever imagine. It greatly involved me, as her husband, to really be there for her and help get her through the tough times. It involves the family in the whole process and this is so huge because this surrounds the one suffering with constant love and support. It also gives others an understanding about anorexia and helps you to relate as much as possible.

I had many different emotions that went on during the whole recovery process but one of the most important things you can do is to be patient and be very encouraging. There were so many times that I just wanted to break down and say something negative, but in my experiences with that it only made things worse. Even the littlest negative things that you say can trigger something that you did not expect. You have to be positive in pushing your significant other and just keep reminding them that you are doing this out of love and support.

We were very fortunate as we caught my wife's anorexia very early on in the process. Although things did get bad fast because of some different complications, my wife got into a Maudsley program in about 6 months from the time we remember that it really started. We have not only each other to thank for her health today, but her family and my family as well. We are huge family people and we cannot stress enough how important of a role our families played. From her parents flying in from out of state to help in the beginning stages to my parents being there for support and encouragement. Just incredible what loved ones can do in peoples lives.

So remember today to stay positive and keep the encouragement coming because you are fighting through this together. Many blessings


Sunday, January 30, 2011


What started out as eating “healthier”. Eating less at meals because it “was better for you.” Skipping certain meals because “I am full from earlier.” These are just a few examples of what I started hearing in the beginning stages of anorexia. I didn’t realize at the time how fast this eating disorder could take over somebody’s life and take over a relationship. Let alone the damage it can cause on someone’s body, mind, and soul. I am happy to say however that after nearly 2 years WE have been recovered from this for over a year now. The reason I say we, is because my wife and I went through this together. We went through this, as did her family, my family, and close friends. I was with her every step of the way for encouragement, to push her, cry with her, eat with her. You name it and I was right there. When someone goes through something like this, they need someone who is willing to push them to the limits. No matter how much my wife argued, no matter how much she didn’t want to eat something, she knew I was doing it out of love. We are here to tell our story of what we went through and to help couples that may be experiencing something similar. We are here to help, from a first hand experience. Though it is tough, all that we do and say is out of love. Please feel free to contact us and we will be sure to get back in a timely manner. Blessings

D and K